copyright © 2003 Jeff Goode

Serious Mental Problem

by Jeff Goode

(A PSYCHIC and FRIEND.)

PSYCHIC
I have serious mental problems.

FRIEND
Oh. Like what?

PSYCHIC
Telepathy.

FRIEND & PSYCHIC
How is that a problem?

FRIEND & PSYCHIC
What?

FRIEND & PSYCHIC
Stop that.

FRIEND & PSYCHIC
Stop repeating what I'm saying.

PSYCHIC
I'm not repeating, I'm saying it at the same time.

FRIEND & PSYCHIC
Well, stop.

FRIEND & PSYCHIC
Stop it.

FRIEND & PSYCHIC
Stop saying what I'm saying.

FRIEND & PSYCHIC
I said, Stop it!

(FRIEND crosses arms, petulantly.)

PSYCHIC
(still channeling:) Okay, I'm not going to say anything, I'm just going to think it.

(FRIEND is furious.)

PSYCHIC
Agh! Stop saying what I'm thinking. I said, Stop it! (as self:) No, you didn't, you thought it. I said it. (as friend:) Agh!! Stop it! Stop it!!

FRIEND & PSYCHIC
This is insane! Cut it out! Stop it!

(FRIEND runs out of the room.)

PSYCHIC
I have a serious mental problems.

(BLACKOUT.)
"Serious Mental Problem" IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR

First performed at No Shame Los Angeles on April 18, 2003.

Appears on an episode of The Darryl Winston Show.


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