God monologue

from Poona the Fuckdog and other plays for children

by Jeff Goode

copyright © 1995

POONA THE FUCKDOG AND OTHER PLAYS FOR CHILDREN BY JEFF GOODE IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE PERFORMED, DOWNLOADED OR RETRANSMITTED WITHOUT THE AUTHOR'S PERMISSION.
GOD

You want to know what's the divine plan?

Couple years ago. Or maybe it was a couple million, I lose track. A seventy-two foot long diplodocus walks in here. You know what that is right, diplodocus? Walks in here, says, "God, what's the divine plan? I mean, here I'm trying to be good, do the right thing, I go to church, give money to the poor, give money to the church, build a church. So I can die and go to heaven. That's how it works, right? That's where I fit into the divine plan right?" And you know what I said to this diplodocus? No, you don't. Because you are not all seeing and all knowing like me. I said to this diplodocus: Here's the plan. You live, you do whatever, good bad ugly, I don't give a fuck, because the whole time you're living, and your grandchildren, and every diplodoci after you, there's these little rats runnin' around in the muck evolving. Turning into cats and dogs and monkeys. And some of those monkeys are gonna ask themselves the same question: "What should I do with my life? What's my place in the divine plan?" And the whole time they're doing that, and evolving, and building hockey rinks and microcomputers. There's these little bugs called cockroaches runnin' around in the muck. And they're evolving. And the computers are evolving. And later after the hockey rinks are all gone, the cockroaches are gonna ask me the same thing, and the computers: "What should I do with my life? How do I get to heaven?" And after the cockroaches come these things that there ain't even a name for, yet. But they're cute as heck, and they mix a mean margarita. And they're gonna get together with the neo-computers - is what they'll be called - and they are gonna create this new race of creatures. And they...

...I don't know what they're going to do.

...And I'm looking forward to that.

back

[JeffNet / Calendar / Catalogue / READING ROOM / Stuff / Rights & Royalties]