ACT ONE

OVER BLACK:

                    ALEX
          The first time I ever saw Quinn Landingham
          was at the video music awards --

FADE IN:

INT.  VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS SHOW 

An award winner concludes his/her acceptance speech and exits to
polite applause.

                    ALEX  (V.O.)
          -- I wasn't there.

PAN AROUND TO: the audience - rows and rows of lavish formal
wear.

                    ALEX  (V.O.)
          -- But I saw it on TV.

CLOSE IN ON: 

QUINN LANDINGHAM, 50, somewhat rumpled, but with the fierce,
steady gaze of a jungle cat, or a drunken irishman.  

PULL BACK:

Just behind Quinn sits CASEY, 21, she's his assistant director,
and BEN, 23, a production assistant - who are part of Quinn's
entourage tonight because they worked on the video for which he
is nominated.

                    CASEY
          I can't believe we're here.

                    BEN
          I can't believe Quinn is here.

                    CASEY
          And miss out on all these sequined nipples?

                    BEN
          No, I mean, I can't believe he's nominated. 
          Do you know how many people had to be off
          their meds simultaneously for something like
          this to happen?

                    CASEY
          It's a mail-in ballot, Ben.  They don't have
          to be off their meds at the same time.

                    BEN
          Well, now it makes sense.

The audience applauds the entrance of the next presenter - JIMMY
STARK - the lead singer for the rock band "Stark" .

                    JIMMY STARK  (O.S.)
          -- the award for best direction in a music
          video.  The nominees are --

                    CASEY
          Here's the directing award.  How's Quinn
          doing?

They glance at Quinn who is pouring himself a martini in a glass
he apparently brought with him.

                    BEN
          Hey, Case, is it my imagination, or is
          Courtney Love coming on to me?

                    CASEY
          She's not even looking this way.  Courtney
          Love's dress is coming on to you.  

                    BEN
          Oh, man...  That dress must be pretty
          desperate.

ANGLE ON: THE PODIUM

                    JIMMY STARK
          -- and Quinn Landingham for "Pompous Pilots". 
          And the winner is --

Jimmy opens the envelope and reads.

                    JIMMY STARK
          -- Quinn Landingham!  

ANGLE ON: CASEY AND BEN

Their stunned expressions.

ANGLE ON: QUINN

                    QUINN
          Bloody Hell...

ANGLE ON: CASEY AND BEN

As they stand and applaud with the rest of the audience.

                    CASEY
          He did it.

                    BEN
          He did it.

                    CASEY
          He did it.

                    BEN
          He's dead.

ANGLE ON:  QUINN

who is not moving.  Casey has to lean over and nudge him.

                    CASEY
          Quinn...  Go.  Go!

Quinn heaves a disgruntled sigh and hands his martini to Casey as
he makes his way toward the podium.  

                    BEN
          You realize, this is a sign of the apocalypse.

ANGLE ON: THE PODIUM

Jimmy Stark hands Quinn his award.  He looks at it.

                    QUINN
          These awards...  mean so very, very little.
               (pause)
          But now I expect you will all want to suck
          me.

ANGLE ON: THE AUDIENCE

as their jaws drop.

ANGLE ON: CASEY AND BEN

Casey downs the martini.

ANGLE ON: JIMMY STARK 

                    JIMMY STARK
          Whoa.

ANGLE ON: THE PODIUM

                    QUINN
          I suppose I should take this opportunity also
          to thank my mother --
                                                                    CUT TO: