The University of Washington Student Newspaper
Thursday, May 13, 1999

Poona the Fuckdog

Megan Blanton

    So Cinderella's fairy godmother has a magic wand. Big whoop. Poona the Fuckdog's fairy god-phallus has foreskin and can sing and dance. Who would you rather see when the clock strikes midnight?

    The Open Circle Theater is home to Poona the Fuckdog and Other Plays for Children, an outrageously funny collection of fairy tales with adult themes.

    Poona the Fuckdog is a lonely Fuckdog in pursuit of friends to play with. Her fairy god-phallus cannot consent to be Poona's playmate, but when a handsome and conceited prince (UW student Michael McQuilken) crosses paths with Poona, the Fuckdog instantly falls in lust and sets her mind on a conquest.

    Diverting the prince's attention away from his obsessive nail-filing compulsion, Poona learns how to "play" with him. Much like Lady Chatterly, Poona eagerly awaits her daily romp with her lover.

    In the next fairy tale, Poona makes strides in her Fuckdog status. Emphasizing her new-found sexual prowess, Poona sheds her baby-blue nightshirt in favor of a skimpy fuschia nightie. She makes lots of friends while conducting her Fuckdog responsibilities in her big pink box. Poona's stamina and athleticism turn her into a superbowl hero.

    Other stories make disturbingly accurate social commentaries. Because of its versatility and loyalty, a television set is crowned king of the Kingdom of Do (where nobody did). The tale of Suzy-Suzy Cyber-assassin exhibits the metamorphosis of an innocent child into a hit woman, with the help of a computer. When Suzy-Suzy is exposed to the bright flashes and obscenities emanating from her computer, she becomes a guilt-free killing machine with the click of a mouse as her weapon.

    In the tale of The Boy Who Interviewed God, a sign posted in heaven reads "Stump God, Win $500". A reporter challenges God, who is surprisingly a cigarette-smoking female wearing sparkly red-rimmed glasses and a silver hair-wrap.

    Scenes eliciting the most laughs were undoubtedly the songs sung by the fairy god-phallus. Paying homage to tequila and time machines, the absurd singing penis has a two-man accompaniment band called Player King. The local band plays acoustic guitar and uses water jugs and aluminum pans for percussion. UW alumnus John Osebold plays the guitar, McQuilken plays drums and both have roles in the play.

    The 11-member cast perform their roles with confidence, energy and appropriately saccharin voices. Karen Gruber is flawless as Poona and Skot Kurruk delivers a stand-out performance as an under-appreciated Shrub who recites Shakespeare. The fairy tales are well-suited to the Open Circle Theater's small stage and cozy capacity of less than 70 seats.

    Poona the Fuckdog and Other Plays for Children was written by Jeff Goode, an experienced playwright who currently is a staff writer for the FX show, Fast Food Films. Poona the Fuckdog rocks on with a hard-on. It's way rude with fallopian tubes.

    Poona the Fuckdog and Other Plays for Children runs through May 22 at the Open Circle Theater on 429 Boren Avenue (south of Lake Union on the corner of Republican). Thu. - Sat. 8 p.m., Sundays at 7 p.m. Student admission $8 Thu. and Sun., $10 Fri. and Sat. For reservations, call 382-4250.

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