Now I'm gonna sum up this movie,
In a song that makes it all hit home
Take a ninety-minute movie and I'll turn it to a 22-line poem.

All the message and themes'll make sense
But the emotional arc's gonna be condensed
Cuz I'll wrap it up as tidy as a package in a catchy little snatch.

And you don't have to sit two hours in the dark!
Y' showed up late, cuz you were outside circling to park!

You will still feel all the power of its Universal Truth!
As convenient as a snap shot from a coin-op photo booth!

You'll be dwellin' on this message till your soul is finally freed...
Till the popcorn kernels in the seats have gone to seed...

So forget about the characters who lived and died and bleed!
Cuz the story in this ditty's all you're ever gonna need!!

Now I'm gonna sum up this movie,
In a catchy 130-second poem
You can hum it to yourself as you get up out of your seat and go on home.

I am tellin' you how it ends,
Cuz I know you will go, and tell all your friends
When I wrap it up as tidy as a package in a catchy little snatch.

It's a 90-minute movie...
But it shoulda been a catchy little snatch.