Welcome, Fair Traveler

libretto by Jeff Goode
music by Jonathan Price

from Saint George & the Dragon

(A lonely MINSTREL waits by the side of a seldom-traveled road on the outskirts of a seldom-visited village.)
  • Lyrics:
MINSTREL
"Welcome, Fair Traveler!"
That's what I'd say,
If anyone bothered to travel this way.

But even crusading knights,
wand'ring the byroads,
Stick to the high road
and don't ever stray.

It's peaceful here. Calm.
Every day is "slow news".
But I am a minstrel
And I need a muse!

So I wait by the road
on the outskirts of town,
Looking for travelers
coming this way...

(Just then a VILLAGER runs on in the background and points down the road.)

VILLAGER 1
Look, there's a traveler!

MINSTREL
Like a medieval journalist

VILLAGER 1
Coming this way!

MINSTREL
Gathering news is my thirst

VILLAGER 2 (entering)
Or maybe a wanderer

MINSTREL
Then I hurry to town shouting:

VILLAGER 3 (entering)
Wand'ring astray.

MINSTREL
"You heard it here first!"

(MINSTREL is oblivious to the escalating scurry of villagers. ALL the VILLAGERS enter gradually.)

VILLAGER 4 & 5
We heard there's a traveler.

MINSTREL
A crowd quickly gathers

MEN
A fellow!

WOMEN
A man!

MINSTREL
To hear scuttle butt

VILLAGER 6
He's dressed all in metal.

MINSTREL
I don't disappoint them

CHILD
He's wearing a can?

MINSTREL
when I tell them what's what.

DEAF VILLAGER
What? What?

VILLAGERS
There's a man in a can!

MINSTREL (finally noticing)
Wait--What??

DEAF VILLAGER
What? What?

MINSTREL
Where?

VILLAGERS
There! There!

WOMEN
No, I think he's in armor.

MEN
Good Lord! It's a knight!

WOMEN
Heading home from the battle

MEN
Or a valiant fight.

VILLAGER 2
Quickly, bring out the banner!

MEN
Everybody get ready!

WOMEN
Just like we rehearsed.

DEAF VILLAGER
I'm not getting in a hearse.

VILLAGERS
A traveler's coming!

MINSTREL (sheepishly)
You heard it hear first.

(The Villagers have hung up a banner that says "Welcome Knight!" but "Knight" has been crossed out and says "Night", but "Night" has also been crossed out and says, "Nite", but "Nite" has been crossed out and says "Wizard", and the "Wizard" has been crossed out and says "Knight".)

(The Villagers have formed a more formal Choir of Welcome to greet the impending Knight.)

VILLAGERS
Here comes the Knight!
Huzzah the day!
Huzzah for the Knight!
Hip Hip Hooray!

The day has come
Hurray for the Knight
who's come today.
(We thought that he might.)

MEN
For knights carry treasure and booty and gold

MINSTREL
Knights have adventurous tales to be told.

MERCHANTS
Knights need provisions and food for their horse.

WOMEN
Knights like the ladies, of course.

(GEORGE enters and waves to the crowd.)

VILLAGERS
The Knight is near!
Huzzah the day!
He's come! He's here!
Hip Hip Hooray!

Huzzah the day!
Huzzah for the Knight!
Huzzah for the day!
The Day of the Knight!!