Larry and the Werewolf

Script Notes


Page numbers refer to the 1999 published script available from Broadway Play Publishing, Inc.

page 7 - The Werewolf's growls

 
(Larry lingers for a moment, noodling at the piano.)

(Enter The Werewolf.)

WEREWOLF
Rrarh! 1

(Larry ignores the Werewolf.)

WEREWOLF (drops to its knees, pleading:)
RRarh!? 2

(No response from Larry.)

WEREWOLF (rising to its feet, points accusingly:)
GRrrrR... 3

(Werewolf exits. Larry noodles.)
 

The subtext of the Werewolf's growls during its confrontation with Larry Fingers in episode 1 is as follows:

1 You son of a bitch.

2 Why are you doing this to me?

3 I'll never forgive you for this, Larry.


page 175 - Despots on Larry's guest list

In scene 14, Spike reads the names of some of the guests Larry has invited to their wedding:
 
SPIKE
Moammar and Mrs. Kadhafi? Saddam Hussein and Guest? Larry, why are you inviting these people to the wedding? They're not gonna come. John Gotti? Frank Sinatra? Sammy "The Bull" Doe? Some of these people I've never even heard of. Helga Hermosa? Who is that?  

Since most of those are now deceased, feel free to update the despots to include living figures of infamy.


page 224 - The Questions to Alfredo's answers

In episode 18, Alfredo Centauri finally agrees to give Dick Piston all the answers he seeks. To Piston's consternation, Centauri doesn't wait for him to ask the questions:

 
ALFREDO
Yes.
No.
I don't know.
Yes.
No.
I told you, I don't know.
The usual way.
I'm not a zoologist, Mr. Piston.
Marcus Benignus and Gaius Lucius.
He was a friend of mine. A gladiator.
It means what it sounds like, you have a filthy mind.
Of course I slept with him. You still have a filthy mind.
I doubt that, but anything is possible.
I'm not trying to be helpful, Mr. Piston, I'm trying to be succinct.
He stole my wife.
Homosexuality is one of my hobbies. I also sculpt.
Helga Hermosa.
I saw her first.
2000 years.
No, 2000 people years.
Yes, I did, but so did Larry Fingers.
No, she's completely innocent.
I'm positive.
I believe I answered that.
 

The questions that Centauri has answered are the following:

Are you a werewolf? (Yes.)
Did you kill Herberto Hermosa?(No.)
Then who did?(I don't know.)
Is Helga Hermosa a werewolf?(Yes.)
Is Larry Fingers a werewolf?(No.)
Did Helga kill Herberto Hermosa?(I told you, I don't know.)
How did you become a werewolf?(The usual way.)
How exactly is that?(I'm not a zoologist, Mr. Piston)
Are there any other werewolves I should know about?(Marcus Benignus and Gaius Lucius)
Who's Gaius Lucius?(He was a friend of mine. A gladiator.)
Andy by "gladiator" you mean...?(It means what it sounds like, you have a filthy mind.)
So you never slept with him?(Of course I slept with him. You still have a filthy mind.)
Do you think one of them could have killed Hermosa?(I doubt that, but anything is possible.)
You're not being very helpful.(I'm not trying to be helpful, Mr. Piston, I'm trying to be succinct.)
What's your connection to Larry Fingers?(He stole my wife.)
I thought you were a homosexual.(Homosexuality is one of my hobbies. I also sculpt.)
Then who's your wife?(Helga Hermosa)
She's Hermosa's wife.(I saw her first.)
How long have you known Helga?(2000 years.)
2000 years??? I assume those are dog years.(No, 2000 people years.)
So you had a motive to kill Herberto Hermosa?(Yes, I did, but so did Larry Fingers.)
What about Spike?(No, she's completely innocent.)
You're sure about that?(I'm positive.)
But you don't know who killed Herberto Hermosa?(I believe I answered that.)
Okay, who switched the bullets in my gun?(Helga switched your bullets.)
Why would she do that?(To protect the werewolf, of course.)
Why would Helga want to protect the werewolf?(And that sounds like a question for Mrs. Hermosa. Good night, Mr. Piston.)